Perfect Lover..bullcrap
Freaky has tagged me on this one.8 points on what I want my perfect lover to be like.Perfect lover,can it get any more oxymoronic than this?
Those in love and those newly married are advised not to read this one. :-) National Geographic says that when people are in love,their brain produces the same hormonal state as when a person is suffering from obsessive compulsive disorder.Disbelievers click here!
I am bride groom hunting.People ask me what the hurry is.Frankly,I am bored and need something new in my life but more important than that is the fact that I want to get married for the stuff.You know the stuff right?Oh come on,the STUFF!!!!
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By stuff,I mean I need someone to blame all my misfortunes on.What were you thinking you perverts!!!Chi Chi!!!
So here go all those points.
Minimum requirements:
1)He should be a Telugu Brahmin--Since it's gonna be an arranged marriage,I don't see why I have to go out of my way to marry someone else and raise a few eyebrows and increase the blood pressure of those close to me.
2)He SHOULD have a fabulous sense of humor-- Saying "Can I make friendships to/with you" on the wedding night,is not my kind of humor. He should get my stupid jokes.
3)He SHOULd be more intelligent than I am--Strange but true,I do have a brain!Never mind the fact that it's getting rusty,but the guy I am with should be more intelligent than me.If we have pesky kids who ask questions like "Why this?Why that?",I will redirect them to him.
4)He SHOULD be well read--No,Overdrive and Playboy and sports articles don't count.And yeah,he should also read blogs,especially those belonging to a certain girl from Hyderabad,who do you think I'm posting this for?
5)He SHOULD be religious/spiritual--If he is a god fearing person,he gets some points.If he is a god loving person,he gets more brownie points.Atheists,please run away!!And people over 60,no you cannot apply on this basis.Sorry! Shirdi Sai devotees,please ignore everything on this page and contact me. :)
6)He SHOULD respect his parents--We are whatever we are thanks to God and our parents,if he can't recognise that,he is no good for anything anyway.
7)He should not drink,smoke,dope or eat non veg--With this archaic requirement,I have limited my scope to 1.16% of the male population.
ADD-ON REQUIREMENTS: (NOT COMPULSARY)!!!!!!
Plus points.
8)Good looks carry some weightage with me--Jaya says I like a certain kind of heavy jawed faces.I have no idea what that means,but I agree with her.Fair skin or dark skin will do.
I took a survey online,having to choose between a very masculine face and an effeminate one.
Results:
a)I prefer more masculine faces.
b)The survey was a waste of time.
If he is dark and looks like Madhavan or HemaChandra and doesn't qualify for points 1-7,never mind,please contact asap!!!!
9)He should smell good--I am into aromatherapy. :p No body odour,no shoe odour,no bad breath and the like.
10)He should be well built--If he can tackle Yokozuna or Adnan Sami's weight,he is safe with me. Extra bulging biceps and muscles are a no-no!!.
11)He should be the more dominanting person in the relationship--I don't wanna play Mommy to immature men,telling them what to do.I need an assertive,confident guy who knows where he is heading.
12)If he is left handed and/or plays the guitar--please double the points gained so far.
13)He should appreciate music--Telugu mass songs,Italian opera not counted.
14)Could be a good dancer--We all know what people say about people who know how to move.
If any 1 or 2 persons in the world have all of those above qualities,they are probably already taken!!!*Sniff*
All this said and done,I am looking for a simple,down to earth guy,someone I can spend the later part of my life as a nice close friend,when all the attraction has waned,and look back on the whole thing with a feeling of warmth and happiness,knowing that all the trails and tribulations in life have been overcome,because I had him by my side.
With this post,I know now how I'm going to spend the rest of my life. ALONE!!!!
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Wishing all my readers a very happy and prosperous though belated Ugadi.Have a safe happy year ahead,hopefully a year that is better than the previous one in every way. :)
I must get ready now to spin my spinster life,
Take care y'all
Loads of love,
Sameera.
P.S-Whoever wants to do this tag,please go ahead and help yourself.
41 comments:
wow..very nice qualities, wudnt he be every gals dream? we will have to get him right out of the book..lol anways good luck in your search, hope u find him..
AAHH!! u came very close ..;) im glad i got hiim before u did:D
agree with every single word written in there....so i guess i also agree with the fact that..we just might have to spend our lives ALONE!!! :D
@stalker
thanks and same to you :p
i mean i hope u find her
@lord of all things:
lol im glad ur happy,but dont make it look like i even tried for ur guy :p
@anonymous
yeah babe,im getting ready..we will be there for each other..:D
lol bullcrap da i ajree :P
abt the stuff da..i wasnt thinkin anythin so m not the pervert na :)
so comin to ur bridegroom...i think u ve alrdy made a plan to spend ur rest of the life as a sinister oh sry spinster :P
u shd marry some1 asap who has any1 of the quality nai tho b prepared to spend the life aloneeeeee
n btw kool things u did w ur blog n also a nice way to make me jealous by puttin the songs which i CANT LISSEN TO...
this was a juuuud post so keep postin da...
n da 4got somethin...this post was funnnnnnnnyyyyy..i want more funny ones...jot it? jood
Haha..sounds even more unbelievable in writing, than it did in ur head right?? but being the optimist tat i am, i hope u get all this and more:D
ur Addons were more like the main points u knw... esp with so many provisions for ppl to skip all afore mentioned points..lol@ Maddie and Hemu..
and who knows..some person on blogosphere might have written similar things as part of the 'perfect lover' tag..so..keep an eye open:)
Inni badi list padhate padhate toh groom budhdha ho jaayega....
lemme pull a comfortable chair and then read this long, longer and longest post :)
What were you thinking you perverts!!!Chi Chi!!!
I was thinking exactly the same sentence which u wrote before this...and it was not at all pervert...Wht the??
Now who is pervert here...hehehe
No,Overdrive and Playboy and sports articles don't count.
Ohhh comeon now..its takes like 15days min to read one playboy magz....its not easy, you see...
If he is left handed and/or plays the guita
Left hand and guitar....am not able to get the connection...wht about right hand guys.....wht if right hand guy is available who knows how to play flute or say tabla....then wht??
Could be a good dancer-
I wanna meet ur hubby once in ma life...I want to see how a masculine faced, well built (who can lift yokozuna), left handed intelligent and dominating Telugu Brahmin guy will look like while dancing...
Hmmmmm....
Lemme run ma imgination for 23 mins....maybe I can picture all this....
Anyway...GOod luck Sammy!!!
and keep me updated on your hunt :)
Hey Sam, wonder what made you limit urself to too few preferences in a man :-P
Anyway if you find a guy with all those qualities + well groomed hair (no not long hair with streaks) give him my number :-D
This is the first time im posting a comment to your fantabulous blog.I love visiting it.
Love,
Deepa(ur scorpio cousin :-D )
and i thot' all u wanted was a left-handed-marathi-brahmin :p
so u dont like ppl who say "can i make friendship with u" huh ?
all the best to u sam. good hunting ;)
and nice mods u made to ur blog.
one question!
are u sure that u are asking for a guy????
if u do find such a dude, then let us know! he should be shot and/or hanged till death!
the reason , u ask,is he is a traitor of the "MAN"kind :p
on a serious note, just dont go for broke to find a guy like that, settle for if the dude has atleast half the qualities ;)
Interesting post...."Perfect Lover"
Cloning hasent gone so far to develop such qualities in a guy, they are still trying on goats, monkeys, rabbits etc.
U should get in touch with some Cloning organization. they may help u out.
Acha are the qualities negotiable?????
then plz do contact me pop@pop.com
Were you born half a century ago, then you could have got him.....P.V.Narasimha Rao. In addition to all that you want.... he does have real heavy heavy jaw..... if he carried a minority govt thru its full term, then he cud carry even 10 yokuzuna...... nedless to say, he is intelligent, religious....blah blah
Sam just a question are u seeing Affy ???
@affy
thangkyu thangkyu..sinister eh..atleast that's better than spinster :((
im gonna do more cool things with this blog inshallah
hehahhahahhahahaa
@jaya
i want one more comment from u..this doesn't qualify on account that u were sleepy when u wrote it..thanks for ur wishes..may the angels be as nice as u..:)hehe
@zoonie
there is no connection between left handed and guitar..there is also no connection between the neurons in my brain...get the idea ;)
right handed table will do :p
as long as he doesnt use my head to practise.
whats the result of ur imagination running wild?i also wanna see!!!
@deepa
thanks babe..either we find two such people or u also join the "forever single" group of women with me..;)
keep visiting..i love having u here :)
@nandu
thangkyu very much
marathi left handed brahmin is outdated info da..i came up with a new list as u can see,a never ending one..
the key word is"friendships" hehe
@freak-y
lol man..yeah i guess such a specimen doesnt exist anyways...
and if he does..im not lettin u anywhere near him..:p
god knows what u gonna do
@prince of persia
thanks for all the encouragement man...ur a huge help :p
@voices from eternity
p.v.narasimha rao...DROOOOLLLL!!!
jus kidding..
@anonymous @3.47 a.m
no
Its going to be a loooonnggg wait.. Doncha worry.. I'll keep an eye out for him.. Till then you continue leading your sinister life..
And you fgot to mention one more thing.. He should be slap-resistant.. How could you forget THAT!!
PS: Affy are you sure you aint a pervert?? :-s
Hey Sameera..I know that u like few comments on ur post but simply couldn't help posting one.:-)
Cool way of chalking out the love of your life..By the way whats with the lefty and the guitarist attributes???
@optimist
jokul thanks da..if u find him,,put him in a cage lest he escape..
yeah slap resistant ur right :p
dotn worry right now i love being sinister..:D
hehahaaahhaha
@megha
babe
j'adore all the comments on ma blog..
keep coming back..
as for the leftie guitarist...blame it all on paul mccartney
There is no doubt that the kind of person you are talking about has to be a designer baby by birth.
With out genetic changes such kind of qualities cannot be adjusted into the same person.
Qualities expected are ranging from dance and music toped with inteligence and patience?
Instead of a person, may be you should focus on getting a suit designed on the line of the movie "The Tuxedo".
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Jokes apart, it is good to have high aspirations.
Best of luck and may the hunted have a peaceful life.
Trying not to get any ideas, if u wanna spend the later part of your life as a friend with your perfect man, what do u intend to do in your initial part of life?
Good luck for your quest...
Just think again - proposing friendship on a wedding night could be incredibly humorous
lol @anonymous
u gettin the idea pretty quick eh?
thanks for the wishes..
@rahul
man "designer baby" the phrase made me laugh
if not for me..ill get a designer baby done for my kids..what say..
by which time..they will tell me to goto hell and choose their own un-designer babies turned adults...
boo hooo the world has no hope left...
thanks for commenting..tho i had to literally force u to comment :)
This guy whom u talk abt is a computer animation i guess ... u cant get a guy with these qualities....u forgot to mention salary ... whether his seat is based on donation or merit ... and stuff like this ...
So wat i suggest u is learn some computer graphics and make an animation of this guy.. tat wud be better... u can use opengl library ...I'm ready 2 help u in this regard..
i'm also a telugu brahmin .. but i dont think u can get a guy with all these qualities
@aravind
thanks a ton man..i never knew graphics would be of so much use!!
i would have concentrated more on that subject in coll...
i guess ur a telugu brahmin without a sense of humor..hardly anyones fault
since u thot abt the salary and merit seat and all,maybe u can have him.
@Scores...
I kept a score ...:(
where do i send them across...
will you be announcing the result soon..:P
Are you lookin for a Guy or a group ??
but if itz every girls dream ... damn ... I am not gonna get a match forever...
Lol i like this post :D
Hey I'm aravind ... never thought my comment wud be published.neway I was just kidding.
Hopefully u'll get a guy who satisfies all ur requirements(including the extra ones)
I do satisfy all the above requirements but I'm not left-handed & I dont play guitar..So,do I qualify???
neway a gr8 blog....keep rocking.
@aravind
if u send me anonymous comments on my blog..how am i supposed to get back to u?
i really enjoyed reading your blogs.you have penned downed my unspoken thoughts.-Rozina
Well well well... I was just browsing around the blogs and ended up here..
Huge list you have here sameera.. Never knew u were hunting grooms.. ;)
Anyway do let me know if you find the guy of your dreams.. I would really like see for myself if there is someone like that for real!!!!
hehehhe.. seems so funny..its similar to a baby asking for the CHANDAMAMA that he will never get .. and dont worry ..there's nothing wrong to be optimistic [;)]
Awesome sameera.. This one is best.
First, I don't understand how you can get so many qualities in arranged marriage. I mean, how can you find all that in the time between the marriage looks and actual STUFF (c'mon you know you are not pervert i know dat) may not be sufficient to know if he had all those qualities.
Second, May be he would say 'Madam, if you dont mind can i sit here' on first night :P
If he is left handed and/or plays the guitar--please double the points gained so far.
What the left hand to do with perfect lover? I don't understand ..
With this post,I know now how I'm going to spend the rest of my life. ALONE!!!!
Now, You got it right..
- syamee
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